


How to Take Care of Your Puppy:  An Alpha’s Guide

by sollobo



Series: How to Take Care of Your Puppy:  An Alpha’s Guide [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Boyd and Erica are alive, Pack Feels, Stiles is a Little Shit, short collections of drabbles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-17
Updated: 2014-03-17
Packaged: 2018-01-16 01:26:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1326634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sollobo/pseuds/sollobo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Stiles, why did you put this book on my coffee table?” </p><p>Stiles gasped as if he were physically wounded, clutching a hand to his chest even if Derek wasn't there to see it. </p><p>“It’s a birthday present, duh. Didn't you read the note on the first page?” </p><p>“It’s not my birthday, Stiles,”</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Take Care of Your Puppy:  An Alpha’s Guide

_“Stiles, if this is a joke, it’s not funny,”_

Stiles snorted and held down the laugh gurgling up his throat. He flopped into his desk chair, all awkward limbs and terrible posture, shaking with barely controlled giggles. Somehow he managed not to drop his phone during all the flailing.  He tried to stamp down the laugh, he needed to for comedic sake, but spit built up in his throat and he couldn’t stop the coughing fit which exploded from his throat. Stiles tried to cover up the mouthpiece of the phone so Derek wouldn't hear, but knew it was pointless. Stupid werewolf hearing. Suspenseful punch line atmosphere: ruined. 

 _“Are you choking?”_ Derek didn’t sound overly concerned, gleeful curiousness bleeding through his tone rather than alarm. Stiles pretended he didn’t notice the inflection as he cleared his throat.

_“Come on, it’s a little funny”_

Derek stared down at the book in his hand like it was an explosive. The tiny, caricatures grinned at him from the cover like they were mocking him, which they absolutely were, so Derek felt it entirely appropriate to glare at them until they caught fire. But he had yet to have Stiles catch on fire by will, which he had wished for on multiple occasions, so he didn’t have much faith in his abilities. Derek rubbed his eyes harshly, as if they deserved punishment for not producing lasers at his command.

Jesus, Derek was spending too much time with Stiles.

  _“Stiles, why did you put this book on my coffee table?”_

Stiles gasped as if he were physically wounded, clutching a hand to his chest even if Derek wasn’t there to see it.

_“It’s a birthday present, duh. Didn’t you read the note on the first page?”_

_“It’s not my birthday, Stiles,”_ Derek could feel the headache blooming between his brows and scratched at the slightly too long stubble on his face. He was supposed to trim it yesterday but didn’t find the time.

_“Well yeah, but I didn’t know your actual birthday and we’ve known you for over a year now, so we had to have missed it at some point. Just think of it as, like, a belated or early gift. And it’s more of a helpful, resource guide than a present anyway. So just think of it as the awesome research dude giving you some awesome research findings. When is your birthday, by the way? For future reference,”_

_“How, in anyway, is this supposed to be helpful?”_ Derek sighed into the phone, raising his eyebrows as he more thoroughly examined the cover. 

The book was titled: **How to Take Care of Your Puppy:  An ~~Idiot’s~~ _Alpha’s_ Guide. ** Stiles had taken a blue mark and crossed out the Idiot’s to scrawl Alpha’s in too large letter underneath. The cover picture included six different puppies of different breeds, Derek wasn’t sure of all the names, but one was definitely a chocolate lab. The puppies were all piled together in an obviously staged pyramid shape, in a grass field, with tongues lolling and eyes shining towards the camera. He scanned the puppies individually, looking at all the hand drawn additions in colored sharpies. Each puppy had something added to it and all of the eyes were filled in with a yellow marker that didn’t work very well.

 _"It's a goldmine of information!"_ Stiles exclaimed. 

 _“Why does the tiny dog at the top have a gold chain with a dollar sign on the end?”_ Derek knew he shouldn’t have asked. Wished he could take back the question the moment he said it. But it was too late and now Stilinski knew he was humoring him. God dammit.

“ _It’s Jackson. Obviously,”_

Derek pretended that the laugh that came out of his mouth didn’t happen by covering it with a cough, because Jackson, not only is the smallest dog in the pile, but has a pink bow on the top of its head that wasn’t drawn in. The largest dog was stuck in the middle of the bottom row, a derpy thing with floppy ears and fur that looked like someone dropped it in multiple paint buckets, had a scarf drawn around its neck, obviously Issac. A black and tan puppy had a large red set of lips drawn on it, Erica. The black and brown colored puppy sat underneath the Erica puppy and had exaggerated muscles drawn on, Boyd. Another puppy near the top had a set of harsh, angry eyebrows drawn on its white face underneath two giant sets of satellite ears, he assumed Cora. The last was the only breed he recognized, a chocolate lab and the hearts for eyes with tiny ‘A’s drawn in tipped him off to it portraying Scott pretty quickly.

_“Oh my god. Did I just make Derek Hale laugh? Holy crap! I deserve an award! Quick someone record this!”_

Derek could hear the smugness bleed through the phone. He ignored Stiles as he continued ranting about how he was a magician and going off on a tangent about Hogwart’s letters and the unreliability of owls these days. He opened the book to the first page and saw another note scrawled inside in Stiles’ too cramped handwriting:

**_Happy Belated/Early Birthday, Derek!_ **

**_Good Luck ;)_ **

_“August 26 th,” _Derek cuts off Stiles mid rant and ended the call before Stiles had a chance to catch his breath.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea in my head for months while I was at work playing with the puppies. Each one-shot will be based off a chapter in the book and relate to Derek trying to make an actually functioning pack. Mostly just a fun little thing that makes me feel warm inside. There should be about 9 one-shots in this series and I hope to publish them weekly if not sooner depending on my motivation. Enjoy the shenanigans!


End file.
